These photos and video are of Renny taken in early July 2011. But I am writing this entry on November 23rd. I've had a bump in the road lately. I've been feeling a bit spooked because it's the time of year when bad things happened last year. And my Uncle Carlo has been sick and passed away. It's just been a bad time. And I've felt it in my riding. I don't feel secure in the saddle. I don't feel centered. I don't actually sit, I stand while jumping. I don't put my heels down. I thrust my legs forward and I stiffen my spine. It's been tough. But I've been blessed to have a fine mare who cares about me. We had a couple of close calls, but she always takes care of me -- I mean, she's not perfect, but she tries hard to be a good team mate.
Anyway, I am trying to come back from this confusion and fear by going back to basics. I am trying to really feel what it is like to be centered and sitting in the saddle. What it feels like to two point and follow the motion of my horse. What it feels like not to stand in the stirrups but to press long and down in stirrups with my whole leg to the ball of the foot. I am trying. And this week, we made some gains. Last week, I would only jump the warm-up jumps. But this week on Monday, I jumped an entire course with diagonals and oxers. And I even jumped my little pony several times -- he was great at both the trot and canter! I want to come back and feel joy. There was a time when I didn't mind about jumping and I want to have that feeling again. So, I am working on my position!