Well, today was a big day in the Sanchez family. I weaned Renny and broke Hailee's heart. It was a hard decision and I'm not sure I made the right one. Renny is a very independent little fella, but he is only 4 months old. But he's going to an inspection at the end of September and I don't want him and his mom to be having troubles if he's still nursing and she's distancing herself. And also his friend, Ruthie, was getting weaned today too. It's a muddle and I'm not too good at muddles.
So, Darla and I weaned them and, yes, there was wailing, crying, confusion, gnashing of teeth, befuddlement. In these photos, you see my horses calling to each other! Renny clearly conveyed to me that he was quite put out that Grandma could be such a betrayer. He just looked at me with that look that said a light bulb was going off over his head -- Grandma is naughty! Annie, Ruthie, Hailee and Renny called for each other all day, but, really, no one sounded too bad. Not heartbroken, just testing. And whenever food was put in front of anyone, they ate. So, I am hoping that all of this summer's love and kisses and handling and good food and care means that weaning will go okay, though it won't be easy.
The stress did get to me though. I cried bitter tears. And swore about myself. And swore about others. I realized something about myself today that little Renny and Hailee taught me.
I spiraled into my old mindset, started crying because I'm a bad person, not vigilant enough, not caring enough, bad and thus a source of dark in the universe, making bad decisions which are bad for good foals...spiral, spiral spiral. And then I quit crying and realized, "Dude! You really aren't the center of the universe. Your limitations, failures, befuddlements don't spin the earth off its axis." So, after that little illumination, I went back to the stable and saw that everyone was mostly okay, though, reasonably not happy! And I saw that Renny wasn't thrilled with his day, but was happy with his hay and grain and being able to at least call and hear his mom and, yes, even satisfied with his grandma.Dr. Zimmerman had to come out today. On Labor Day, I noticed that Hailee had really bashed her right eye. Yesterday she looked just miserable, like she'd been cast in Raging Bull. And today, I could see that blue was starting to cloud over her eye. Dr. Z said that horses in the front of their eye don't have an immune system, so when they receive a strong blow to their eye, sometimes there is a rupture which causes liquid to spill from the back to the front. And since the immune-rich back doesn't recognize the front, it starts attacking the eye. So, I have to treat poor Hailee with an immuno-suppressant eye cream and banamine twice a day for the next 5 days and then Zimmerman will come for a follow-up. She will hopefully be okay, but there is also the possibility that she may go blind in that eye.
This is something true about me, not proud of it, it's just true: Bad news doesn't bring me down, it's not rising to meet the bad news that really paralyzes me.
Prayers for my equine family -- sad Ms. H who had her beautiful foal taken today, had a visit from that wretched tall man who poked not only at her neck but at her eye, and who is leaking milk when her foal calls, and who has an eye injury. Prayers for Renny a little guy who wants to be the head of his herd, but also would like to have his mama. And prayers for happy Ms. Violet who spent a luxurious 9 hours today, grazing with her friend, Sedona, looking sometimes with curiosity at the stable where she could hear the wails, and then who spent a nice half hour racing about the pasture after a cooling rain before coming in for a relaxed yummy dinner in her breezy stall. Even Ms. V needs some prayers because, you know, it's not easy being beautiful!
One last thing, Dr. Z said that Renny was handsome and well-conditioned, he looks exactly like he'd want him too. And he said that he liked Renny's beautiful face and freckle. I thought this was appropriate praise because indeed Renny is exceptional. A freckle from an angel to aim the kisses. A beautiful blaze. Cute ears like his mama. and such a pony smart personality radiating from his very smart stud colt eyes. Dr. Z was simply commenting on the obvious as he was sketching Renny for his Coggins papers.
Love from me to you. I hope you are enjoying your own journeys. Shanti, Shanti, Shanti. Shalom, Shalom, Shalom. Peace, Peace, Peace to the universe. Peace to you and me.