Thursday, March 17, 2011

Insult to Injury





So, I called and emailed that physician on the day I discovered he sold Hailee  at auction without even calling me.  And it took 2-3 days before he deigned to email me.  He said he wouldn't waste his time calling me.  I won't bother with the full details, but basically in his very condescending, sanctimonious emails, he said that he did me a favor by starving Hailee, stealing from her, and selling her at auction.  In a nutshell, he said that I'm a poor stupid liar -- too ignorant to know that Hailee is not worth anything, too much of a liar to admit that she was mismatched to me and that I misrepresented her to him, and too poor to take care of her.  I can honestly say that I've never been more insulted in my life.  It was impressive.

Anyone who knows me well knows that I am an interesting mix of chutzpah and insecurity.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I cut myself down terribly, feel that I'm a bad person, and don't have a whole lot of love for myself.  I am willing to lead the parade on the "what's wrong with Laura" festival.  But even I am not able to believe that I'm a poor dumb liar. 

But I have to say when he sent me those emails on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, it was hard to even care.  I mean, he'd already done his worst to me -- I learned that I had sent my beloved foundation mare to a man who would abuse her and sell her -- a man who wanted to hurt her and me so deeply.  I learned that my carelessness led to Hailee being hurt and unsafe.

So, though I'm not a poor dumb liar, I am something far worse.  But you know, at least I won't be going to my grave an abusive unrepentant horse thief.

And so now what...